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The name for our newest songs…..

“lost soul”

And….

“Caught off guard”

And both are amazing!!!!! Hehe

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The tears flow free, they’ve come unbidden.
These floodgates I could not hold back.
This fruit that has been forbidden
What I love most has been ripped from my life.
What I’ve awaited all this time, I finally found.

These tears flow free, they are not to be stopped.
Too late…too late. I’ve lost it all.
I’ve lost that which I held dear.
With all this I will choose to stand tall.
I shall not give into my emotions

This heart will heal its wounds
I will feel the cleansing that only father time can provide
and I will take the challenges that wait in stride
as I forget about the bridges I left burnt behind me
This heart will feel something new again
As the river washes away the remnants that were left of you

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Chris is getting so big!! And he did pretty good at the assembly, not too shabby :):)

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Memorial is tonight and I’m dressed and ready to go!!!! Heading that way n just a moment :) I’m wearing the same dress I wore last year but I don’t think t matters lol. Yippy!!!!! Here we go!!!

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Facebook is goooonnne!! Has been for a couple weeks. So here I am typing away on my iPhone to my blog just to say how bored I am lol. Yep…. I’m back.

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That’s how long it has been. been a couple rough times, but I got thru them. And I’ve moved on.
My very good friend has been there right along side me and I’m so excited. I’m hopeful that one day I will be able to call her my sister. She has been beside me since before I even thought of trying again… She has witnessed my efforts, my struggles to do what is right, and seen improvements n me… And now she is studying to make changes n herself as well. I just can’t believe it.
If I keep it up and continue on, hopefully this time I will not fail you all, hopefully this time I will not fail myself… And above all, hopefully this time I will not fail the one who means the most.
Yes…. One month, three weeks…. Let’s see it go on for year to come, eh?

By the way…. For those that I know still look at my blog from time to time….

I love you very much. And miss every single one of you.

/*ME*\

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In case u r wondering….

John Howard is the lead guitarist of the band “Unbroken Silence”, a good friend of mine, much like a brother.
Last few things I’ve posted on here have been written by him an myself.
I never was that great of a writer and when I do write i never seem to be able to finish….so now a days, I just write down a few lines and john changes wording or adds a few lines and makes my chicken scratch a masterpiece. He is an amazing writer and extremely talented guitarist. I’m proud to have the chance to work with him every week.

In other news…its stormy out right now and I cant sleep with the huge tree limbs hitting my window like that lol.

Boooo

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**Written by john Howard and cassandra Clark**

Inside

I wish I couldn’t feel I am blinded, it is so overwhelming I wish my inside was dead. so I would no longer have to deal with everything surrounding me

I wish I wouldn’t feel so that I could sleep this night so I no longer had to put up this fight with the sheep I seem to be unable to count that the night would take me to this slumber.

I hate the way I feel inside Am I drowning in a lake of solitude? I don’t enjoy the moments I spend in agony each breath I take, it becomes harder to breathe

wanting to scream let all that’s built up, out Shout everything that has been inside That I feel you need to hear. wanting to scream to relieve myself from the things you bring to the surface from the things eating at my sanity

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**written by cassandra Clark and john Howard**

Black Hooded Figure

I’m ready for the end, waiting for it to draw closer. Claiming me for an eternal rest. When will this pain leave me be. When will the light I see in the distance, come to warm me This hopeless feeling coming over me. Why won’t it all come to an end?

This black hooded figure, have you come to claim me I run, trying to break free of its grasp. Why have you come for me, is it my time. I feel nothing inside as I stop struggling Giving into this calm coming over me When will it all come to and end?

No longer will I feel. So hopeless and beaten. No longer will I feel. So powerless and weak. No longer will I feel. So breathless and broken. No longer will I feel. So restless and bleak.

Take me away with you. To my final resting spot. A place to all my own. Take me away with you. To an end so certain My final home. the end of this journey so much unknown.

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**written by Cassandra Clark and John Howard**

I feel like I’ve ruined it all
Was coming here all a mistake?
I feel I’ve made us fall into a spiral
So out of control
It is our past I cannot take.
Finally, everything seemed fine
You wore a smiling face hiding your true feelings
We build this up, just to watch it come down.
Now all has been shattered in this place.
Try to block out this sight
As I lay my head in my hands
Escape this hell I just might
I see the beauty before this Ruin
Before it crumbled down at my feet
The rain pouring down making the streams rush
to wash away my tears
The pain rolling through my veins stinging
at my side because of you
The stain you left behind because your such
a coward to the end
The shame I ever let you get to me this way
and make me feel
This way

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